How much I love you
by aprylynn
Summary: What does Deeks get Kensi for Christmas that shows her how much he loves her? Prompt from Raccoon Lady.


"I don't think I'll ever eat again."

"Wow, that's impressive coming from you."

"Shut up. If I wasn't so full, I'd kick your ass right now."

Deeks chuckled as he reached for Kensi's hand and laced their fingers together. Christmas dinner at the Hanna house had been exactly what they needed. Rather than trying to decide which of their mothers would cook for them (honestly a no win situation), they accepted Sam's offer. Michelle was gracious enough to allow four extra people with very little notice. Dinner was wonderful, the company was lovely, and everyone was happy and content. Everyone ate too much, some drank too much, and all of them wanted to come back next year. Before slipping into full blown food comas, Deeks and Kensi passed around hugs and said their good-byes before heading back to his house. Roberta and Julia decided to stay a little longer, having entirely too much fun, especially with Michelle's mother.

Now in this quiet moment, they sat on his couch and admired his tree. Really, it was _their_ tree. She wasn't officially living with him yet, but everything about this tree was theirs. It was the first time in many years that she was able to pick one out and then decorate it with someone special. It surprised her how much she missed this part of the holiday and how much she enjoyed experiencing it with Deeks. He was constantly surprising her and she loved it.

"So…" He started to speak but his voice trailed off as he traced a line on her palm with his thumb.

She smiled. "So… what?"

"Um, do you want your present now?"

She turned her head towards him and arched her eyebrows. "I thought sexy Mr. Claus already gave me my present last night."

"Oh, he gave it to you alright." He laughed and leaned forward to place a gentle kiss on her nose. "But that wasn't your only present."

"Well, I'm always up for more presents."

"Okay. Wait right here."

"Not a problem. I'm still too full to move."

He ran up the stairs and was back in less than a minute with a flat package in his hand. He took his seat next to her and smiled. He looked nervous and excited and intense and playful all at the same time. "So… this is it."

He placed the package in her lap. It was wrapped in brown paper with her name written in his familiar script. She had no idea what to expect, but she was feeding off of his excitement. Her heart pounded in her chest as she picked it up and carefully unwrapped it.

It was a journal with a green cover textured with plant leaves. She ran her fingers over it and chuckled. "Ferns."

He grinned. "That's right. Open it."

She looked him in the eyes and smiled right before opening the cover. On the first page was written _How much I love you_. She took in a deep breath and turned the page. There was a picture a gym. The Blood  & Guts Warriors MMA gym. She recognized it right away and let out a little gasp. Underneath the picture was a date and a hand written caption.

 _April 6, 2010  
I met this girl named Tracey today. She came out of nowhere, claiming a lot of things that I didn't believe for a second. She was definitely hiding something. I knew I had to keep my eye on her. (Which wasn't going to be difficult at all because she was a stone cold fox.)_

There was page after page like that. Not all had pictures, but they all had dates and entries written by him. Every single one was a moment of their partnership, friendship, relationship. There was a picture of Monty, of Pacific Beach Medical Center, of Julia's garage, of a house in the suburbs, of a clearing on a hillside, of an ice rink, of a cabin at Mammoth. As she flipped through the journal, she was overwhelmed with memories and tears started to form in her eyes. Especially at the entry that had a picture of her laughing and his beautiful words about how much her smile gives him life.

"Deeks, I…" Emotion took over her voice.

"Um… It's us. It's kind of our story. And there's a lot of blank pages to fill in since we have lots more memories to make."

She flipped to the last page he had written in, towards the middle of the journal. There was no date or picture. Just a message.

 _Kensi -  
I don't know if there's such thing as a gift that shows you how much I love you, but I hope this at least shows you some of the reasons why.  
I love you. More than I could ever say.  
\- Marty_

She looked up at him and smiled as a single tear escaped down her cheek. "I love it." She whispered. "It's perfect."

"I was hoping it'd be okay, especially since Target was fresh out of baby tigers."

She let out a laugh and scooted closer to him. "Well, you can try again. Valentine's Day isn't that far away." She held his gaze as her fingertips traced the line of his jaw. She allowed herself to just enjoy being in his presence and enjoy being loved by him. They had been through so much together, both unbelievable happiness and also hard times that could have easily meant the end of them. But they made it this far. He was hers and she was his. And nothing else in the world mattered.

She leaned over and pressed her lips to his, gentle and slow. She let out a happy sigh as he wrapped his arm around her, pulling her body flush against his. He continued to kiss her with increasing passion. His other hand held her face, angling her head to deepen their kiss.

When they broke apart, Kensi kept her face close, breathing deep to calm her racing heartbeat. She smiled against his lips. "Now… I have to think of something that shows you how much I love you."

"Kens…" His eyes seemed to fill with tears, but he smiled at her as if he had never been happier. "You already did."

She smiled at him and kissed him again. "I love you."

"I know. I love you too."


End file.
